The challenges of parenting any child can create a lot of stress, but parenting a special needs child brings many more daily stresses from the daily tasks of caring for the child that do not lessen as the child ages, to finding resources that can benefit the child's development, to learning how to parent and discipline the child in a way that works even if it is different then the way the parent was raised, to planning for the child's future care. There are unrealized dreams that must be dealt with and judging eyes accusing the parent of having done something wrong. The following studies look at the levels of stress that result from parenting a special needs child and investigate coping strategies, which may lower this stress.
Pain (1998) conducted a study on 20 parents of children with physical and learning disabilities in an attempt to study the role of information in coping with their children's needs. In coping with having a child possessing disabilities, parents desperately needed access to information, but how this information was relayed greatly influenced how beneficial it was. Information that was given personally from a physical human being was the most helpful, and written information was seen as a helpful addition to the spoken words rather than as an equal or more valuable source. Some parents also appreciated comment books that were sent between themselves and their children's teachers as direct communication tools. Some parents saw written information useful and referred to books, newsletters, booklets, and leaflets, showing the greatest appreciation for written stories of families with similar situations. However, parents referred to difficulties in trying to seek this material out, as well as the added emotional benefit of having a physical person to talk to who would understand and be able to provide advice. Support found in other parents of children with special needs was also extremely helpful not only because it was genuine, but also because information communicated between parents was in language that was easy to understand, unlike that of professionals. Because of the language barrier of professionally written information, this type was most often sought out by those with a higher amount of education.
Information on how to deal with day-to-day issues in caring for their child and managing their needs was the most commonly sought out, but when parents received information that was helpful for the current situation, they saw themselves as very blessed. Information on their child's disability and its cause also seemed to help the parents understand their child's difficulties, reduced the blame they would put on themselves for the problems and, allowed them to be able to explain the true causes to relatives and friends who may place judgment on them. Although seeing families with similar situations was sometimes comforting because of the support of not being alone in the challenges, it also created some stress by foreshadowing possible problems that may occur.
In conclusion, Pain (1998) found that individually relevant information was the best received, rather than more generalized written works. Information allowed families to learn what they were dealing with and how to deal with it so that they felt more control over the difficult situation of trying to successfully raise a child with special needs. Lastly, the best way for society to help parents and families of special needs children seems to be in providing professionals who can share useful individually directed information with these families to enable them to better cope with their situation.
Special Olympics programs were thought by Weiss & Diamond (2005) to be beneficial not only to the athletes in boosting their self esteem, but also to their parents because they provide opportunities for their children to succeed socially and competitively. In order to see if these benefits could be found in an actual study, parents of special needs children from 63 families took the Parental Stress Index to measure their stress and reported information about their involvement in Special Olympics events. The results revealed that thirty percent of the parents were measured to be experiencing stress from their role as a parent of a special needs child. The percentage of mothers exhibiting this stress was slightly higher then fathers. The results of this study suggest that parental attendance of Special Olympics competitions does help improve how positively parents view their special needs children. As the frequency of attendance went up, the level of stress due to issues associated with their children's special needs went down. Overall, parents of children with Down Syndrome reported having less stress then parents of children with other types of special needs. What is somewhat surprisingly though is that a mother's volunteering at the Special Olympics event was correlated with an increase in her stress, while fathers experienced no increase in stress as volunteers. However, fathers were more likely to be stressed when their special needs child lived in their home rather than at another location. This study is only an initial correlational study and cannot show which is the leading factor of the decreased stress, the positive feelings toward the child, and the attendance of Special Olympics events. It is hard to say if parents have a lower stress level simply because of their attendance or if they initially had a lower stress level and this is the predictor of their involvement in the events.
Woolfson & Grant (2005) studied the relationship of parents' stress levels and parenting styles to see if there was a difference in this relationship between parents of developmentally disabled children and those with normally developing children. The study compared 53 parents of developmentally disabled children in pre-school and late primary school with 60 parents of normally developing children of the same age. The parents studied were mainly women with 99 mothers and only 12 fathers. The children of the developmentally disabled group were moderately to severely delayed in their development and were mostly boys due to the larger number of boys with developmental disabilities in the general population. Parental stress was measured by the Parenting Stress Index-Short Form, while parenting style was measured by a shortened version of the Child Rearing Practices Report by Rickel and Biasatti. Results of this Woolfson & Grant (2005) study show that parents of developmentally disabled children did in fact have higher rates of stress with 57% having clinically significant stress compared to only 8% of the normally developing group. The study of the use of authoritative parenting style based on child's development and age showed reversed levels by age for each developmental group. In the developmentally disabled children group, 36% of the parents of the pre-schoolers used authoritative parenting compared to 5% of children in the older age group, while in the normal developing children group, only 9% of the pre-schooler parents used authoritative parenting compared to 34% in the older group. As predicted, there were differences in parenting style and level of stress for the two groups of children. Higher stress levels in parents with developmentally disabled children were linked with parenting styles in which there was a high level of control. With normally developing children, however, neglectful parenting produced the most stress.
The results of this study reveal that parenting style may be influenced by how responsive a child is to it, as well as how stressful any one parenting style is. As developmentally disabled children grow, there is an increase in the stress of raising them and a growing frustration with parenting styles that require energy and control, leading to an abandonment of these sorts of parenting styles over time. Conversely, most parenting styles seem to work without much stress when a child is developing normally. Although this study was limited because it was a cross-sectional quasi-experiment with a small sample size, the results suggest that parents of developmentally disabled children need a huge amount of support in controlling and developing their child's behavior because of the huge challenges and stress that this task requires.
Parenting a child with special needs is a hard task that may lead to a lot of stress on the part of the parent. Successful coping is vital, and one way of coping includes getting information from professionals, other parents, and written resources in order to learn about child's disability, how to manage their behavior and needs, and how to find resources that may benefit the child. One opportunity for strengthening the parent's positive view of his/her child may be in going to Special Olympics to observe child's success. Special Olympics also provides an opportunity to be connected with other parents who have similar experiences who can give support and share information. Lastly, in raising a special needs child, it is essential to gain support through other social connections in order to establish a helpful parenting style that benefits the child and keeps stress levels at a minimum.
Pain, H. (1999). Coping with a child with disabilities from the parents' perspective: the function of information. Child: Care, Health, & Development, 25, 299-312. (Retrieved Apr. 12, 2006, from http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10. 1046/j.1365-2214.1999.00132.x)
Weiss, J. A., & Diamond, T. (2005). Stress in parents with intellectual disabilities attending Special Olympics competitions. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 18, 263-270. (Retrieved Apr. 12, 2006, from http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.111/j.14683148. 2005.00234.x?prevSearch=allfield%3A%28%22stress+in+parents+of+adults+with+intellectual+disabilities+attending+special+olympics+competitions%22%29)
Woolfson, L., & Grant, E. (2005). Authoritative parenting and parental stress in parents of pre-school and older children with developmental disabilities. Child: Care, Health & Development, 32, 177-184. (Retrieved Apr. 12, 2006, from http://www.blackwell- synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1365-2214.2006.00603.x?prevSearch=allfield %3A%28Authoritative+parenting+and+parental+stress%29)
Parenting a Child with Special Needs (http://www.nichcy.org/pubs/newsdig/nd20txt.htm)
Children's Disabilities Information (http://www.childrensdisabilities.info/)
Fact Sheet #19-Parenting a Child with Special Needs (http://www.cfc-efc.ca/docs/vocfc/00019_en.htm)
Contributed by Laurie Parker, April 13, 2006.